Fix Relationship Problems With Good Arguments
Arguing amongst mates is common. And, to a certain extent, arguing should happen between two independent adults who are in a relationship. It’s going to happen. There is no need to worry that your relationship is in trouble if you argue from time to time. You can get Relationship Help on this here.
Arguing in an unhealthy way, however, can be a BIG problem. Even just a few arguments that are unhealthy can cause serious damage to your relationship.
Arguments that are unhealthy happen in many different ways. One unhealthy way to argue is by either attacking or withdrawing. Attacking, trying to dominate your mate by yelling or deriding them, is obviously bad. So too is withdrawing into silence and not talking to your partner for hours or days.
Another big cause of damage in your relationship is if during an argument you say things that are very hurtful to your mate, like you’re a complete stupid idiot or a worthless wench. Studies have shown that if one or both partners treat each other with scorn or contempt during an argument, that relationship gets severely damaged. If you treat your mate with scorn or get treated with scorn you should learn how to deal with conflict in a healthier way.
What then, are good ways to argue? One way is to try to learn to breathe and look your mate in the eye when arguing. Learning to breathe during an argument can help you to stay more calm. You can get more How To Get Love Help here.
It can take a good while to learn to do, but the next thing is to focus on de-escalation. This means to lower the volume and temperature of the arguing. See if you can get your mate to calm down by talking more softly yourself. Act in a non-threatening way and give them some space.
An additional powerful method for good arguments is to ask your mate this important question: What’s important to you about this issue? Then LISTEN without interrupting or attacking them. Then see if you can share your views about what’s important to you. This will often lead to compromise.
After the argument, see if you can reconnect with your partner quickly rather than let the distance and silence build up. Say something like “sorry we argued, are you okay?” There is a lot more involved in turning conflict into caresses, but these things are a good start. You can get a complete system about relationship help here.
