Is Assertiveness a Way to Solve Relationship Problems

Is your husband controlling you in everything you do? On your first few weeks of marriage, you would most likely think that your husband’s jealousy problems are natural and you keep pursuing your relationship thinking that both of you will learn to love and accept your current situation. However, as time passes by you will realize that your fairy tale will turn into nightmare.

When you are being controlled by your partner, your self-esteem is lowered and relationship problems are being highlighted.Your first reaction is that you react on his insults and assaults.  However, every time you do so, your husband turns into a monster and the relationship problems worsen.

Another thing is that you become afraid to tell your friends and family about your situation. You should not push away the people who can help you with your problems. Do not push your loved ones too far…they will be the ones to help you deal with your relationship problems. Now you will be living your life with a partner who has totally become a different person.

This situation is normal to a married couple.There would really be some adjustments in a relationshp. Normally the norms of the society is to trap women in the house and limit them to child-bearing. It is a sad thing to see women suffer just to please their husband. When women found out that there is nothing they could do to please their man, problems arise and it could go worse in time.

Hence, the best and most logical solution for your relationship problems is not to please him always, rather to assert yourself in your relationship.Your partner can take advantage of your affection for him. If you allow your husband to become more powerful than you then this could be a problem.If you allow your partner to have power over you… this is going to be a big problem.Your problems would not end unless you come out brave and say what you want.You will never change a man unless he decides for himself… if you wait for this to happen, you are just rsking yourself to emotional abuse.

Standing up for your rights and knowing exactly what you want makes you an assertive person. There are people who can not be assertive. If a person is assertive he recognizes that he has the right to express his preferencesm feelings, opinions and emotions. They usually face their problems and focus on problem- solving.

You must learn how to improve your assertive listening skills. You must know how to listen to your partner’s points-of-view, understand accurately what the other is trying to say and express. Make sure that you understood what you heard. Understanding means that you only understand but you do not agree. If you agree then that means you have an agreement.It is really easy if you tell your partner what you want to hear and accept.

Assertiveness comes out if you try to separate your emotions to the reality. You should not tolerate your partner’s tendency to take advantage of your love for him. You have to be courageous enough to speak your thoughts and do the things that you really want in life. If you are loved by your partner truthfully and dearly, he will always accept who you are.

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts

PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts”