Stop Blaming Your Partner and Start Saving Your Marriage

If you have a genuine commitment to saving your marriage, or are determined to stop your divorce, then make your first step stopping playing the blame game. Of all the advice on relationships I offer to my clients, this is without doubt the single most important piece.

What do I mean by the blame game? Easy, putting the blame for everything that is wrong in your marriage or relationship at the feet of your partner. Until you take this simple step and start taking responsibility for how YOU feel, rather than pointing the finger at your other half, things are unlikely to change for the better.

All you are acheiving by blaming your partner for your problems, is creating more conflict and anger, rather than allowing communication and resolution of your issues.

This is an example of what I am talking about. “You never spend time with me any more” is effectively an accusation and an attack, to which the other partner will seek to defend themselves. The natural response if someone sticks a finger in your face is to get annoyed or angry! What if you were to say ” I am feeling lonely and isolated” isnt this sayiing the same thing but in a very different way?

By taking responsibility rather than blaming your partner, you are much more likely to get a positive response. Because your partner is not feeling attacked and accused they will actually listen to what you are saying and not feel the need to respond defensively.

This use of the “I” STATEMENT can be an absolutely critical factor in reopening meaningful communication in any relationship that is in trouble. It enables couples to clearly outline their problems in a way that will get them heard by the other person.

Try using this powerful tool to outline your relationship needs rather than playing the blame game, and guarantee that you will be amazed at the results. Saving my marriage using this technique becomes a whole lot easier.

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