The Getting Your Ex Back Challenge!
Breaking up with your girlfriend is tough and to get her back, and in fact to turn the tables entirely and get your ex to want you back you are going to have to make some changes and set some plans in motion. You need to start by creating the right kind of energy that makes her want to chase you. Not rationalise with her as to why there are all kinds of logical reasons for you to be back together. Being in a relationship is not the same as being an accountant, where you add up all the plus column, and then take off the minus column and work out whether you should or should not be with someone. That sounds like it should work. But in practice many times we end up being in relationships with people who appeal to our hearts, whilst our heads are busy shouting out for us to turn around and walk away. And yet seldom, if ever, do we heed that advice. So, if that is the way that you get into relationships, then it quickly becomes clear that approaching getting back with your ex girlfriend like a bean counter just isn’t going to work.
Why is it that couples who play together stay together? Of course there is the dynamic of shared hobbies and experiences. For example if both of you are members of the same walking club, then it does give you things in common, and that can be important. However, the main reason is because it keeps the communication channels open. In essence it allows each of you to share a part of yourself that is a good deal more relaxed and forthcoming because it is not indelibly a part of the main relationship. The fact that you have shared interests does give you things to talk about and shared experiences, but it also contributes an energy exchange that lies at the heart of successful reconciliation between couples who can bring back love into their relationships when all hope seems lost.
When you only talk with your girlfriend when there is a problem, and you need to figure out who is responsible for solving it. Then you are setting yourself up for relationship problems. You need to start realising that it is not enough to be a cold fish when it comes to communication. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities of being more open. It will reward you with a better relationship. No doubt about it. But additionally it is essential if you are looking to get your ex back quickly and keep her around. Communication breakdowns can happen in subtly different way in relationships where the couple don’t have shared interests. So it is a good idea to have some shared hobbies. In that way you are forced to engage and talk together not only about problems, but also fun stuff that is outside your normal every day relationship issues.
By their very nature women are always looking to tweak and improve the men in their lives. They see you a bit like a piece of clay that would benefit from careful moulding, and they are just the sculptor to do it! There is not an awful lot you can do about this. You simply have to realise that this is not a reflection of your behaviour in particular. It is simply a reflection of how girls treat guys who they see as potential boyfriend material. So, if anything, you should actually be flattered. If she cares enough to want to change you, then there is still a lot of hope and juice left in the relationship.
