Posts Tagged ‘argument’

Emotional Abuse: How Its Affects You

If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship  for a long time, you may loose your ‘inner compass’ and can become convinced that you are worthless, and that is all your fault, and  you feel like you have nowhere else to go.

Try to honestly answer this questions to yourself:

• Is your ultimate fear to be left alone, without no one to love you?
• Do you sacrifice your own wishes, just to please your partner?
• Do  you become more submissive after  your partner  abuses?
• Do you felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid arguments?

If you are in a relationship wherein emotional abuse happens everyday, the effects are dangerous than any form of abuse because it can be frequent. The effects of emotional abuse can be subtle, it makes you feel that you are the problem in the relationship even if you are not. It makes you doubt your self-worth and affects your self-esteem also.

Here are the negative effects of long-term emotional abuse:

• Low self-esteem
• Emotional Stress
• Health Problems
• Depression
• Isolation
• Alcohol or drug use

You may seem introverted, quiet, or may appear confident and extrovert, which is an act to fool the outside world so that you can hide the humiliation you are experiencing. You are resistant to seek help from others and decided to deal with it on your own. But ongoing contact can drag you back in the abusive situation again and again.

You must try to do something if your partner is unwilling to seek help or knowledge.
The recovery process is long and painful. In the end, you may decide to hurt yourself, it may influence your mentality. It may result to suicide when dealing with a long-term emotional abuse. You would feel unlovable and unworthy.

If only you would seek proper counseling, this chain of suffering could be stopped once and for all.

To your happiness,

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts
Claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘

5 Steps To Boost Your Communication Style

Of all the the things you can control in your life, much depends on the quality of your communication style. If you are going to be a successful in any aspect of your Relationship, Work, and Family, then improving your communication skills will give you a real advantage.

Steps To improve Your Communication Style:

1. Watch your language, and begin washing out words commonly thought of as aggressive or inflammatory. your language will be more effective If you stick to a description of the facts (at the least the part of the facts you know),. Avoid the temptation of doing complex interpretations of others behavior or sayings. For example, try “That makes me feel bad. Why are you saying it?” instead of “You must really hate me.”
   
2. Avoid using the words “never” and “always.” They really offend people and put them at the deffensive. These words are obviously untrue, because you can’t see that far into the future. Using them will destroy your credibility, while unfairly denying the other’s potential for change and self-improvement.
3. Learn to listen. Really listening to the other, is the best thing you can do in an argument. Make a point of repeating what the other person said, perhaps adding an acknowledgement of their emotional state: “What you are telling me is that the situation in your company is so bad that you are sure your position will be terminated, and that has you in serious trouble making your house payments. I can see why you’re scared and angry.”
4. Difficult conversations require total attention. Listening validates the other, and shows that you understand, respect and care about their point of view. The other person will be encouraged to take the next step, and start looking for a solution.
5. Do not avoid talking about a difficult issue. Volunteer your help by respectfully bringing up issues that are problematic, worrisome or sad. Help other people overcome denial. It is okay to say, “I realize that this is difficult for you, and I’d like to understand all the aspects of this situation… can you tell me more about how you got pregnant?”

Practicing this tips will put you on the path to master  arguments and disputes, generated either by you or by others; more control of the process and outcome of any discussion, not withstanding how difficult the issue can be.

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
For more insights on dealing with your conflicts, visit Positive Conflicts and claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘

The Secret To Understand Disputes In Your Relatiosnhip

Probably you have had your own share of Conflicts in your life—and who hasn’t? — and as a result you may even be very reluctant to get near anything that smells of a dispute.

It could be that you lost in a serious confrontation that left a permanent rift between you and your partner. Or your best work friendship was killed by silly recriminations that started out of nowhere, but you did not stop.
And because of this past bad experiences, today you think that the best option you have is to simply avoid any conflict.

For example Look at this very common situation:

Your spouse is stealing your ideas, and using them as if they where his, in front of people who know you too. These episodes made him look very smart, and you very dumd.
Because you don’t want to lose this relationship, You choose to do nothing , but you are hurt and angry inside, and all trust is gone between you two.

What is the cost of avoiding conflict.?

Every time that you opt to escape conflict, you are sending a message the other party,that this behaviuor its ok with you. And by realizing you don’t challenge his behaviour, he will keep on doing the same things against you, just because they don’t realize how strong do you feel about it.

Self Respect is the price…

By becoming an expert in avoiding disputes, you will also need to avoid deep relationships! If you give in to other’s demands without being satisfied yourself, only to keep the peace; settling for second-best without getting your needs met, what are the consequences? Can you see your self respect being constantly eroded?

Can you be 50% Happy?

Or you could became a compromiser, a person who prefers that 50% of everything Ending up with less of what you wants and more of what you don’t want…..

How many ways are there of dealing with conflict, besides avoiding or denying it?

Or accepting a compromise, any compromise offered, so to be able to walk away from it?

At least one more choice:

You can learn how to find a fair solution for both partner, following a clear processes for decision making in conflict.  You can became a reconciler of extremely opposite positions, that seeks that a fair compromise is reached, to the gratitude of all involved.

In short, this is what you need to know about Arguments :

• Arguments  in relationships are inevitable.
• Although inevitable, Conflicts can be denied, minimized, diverted, managed and/or resolved.
• We all face Disputes  because we are dealing with people’s lives, jobs, money, pride, self-concept, ego and sense of mission or purpose, in daily basis.
• You can train yourself to identify early indicators of a Conflict .
• Good strategies for resolution are available and DO work.
• When forced to fight by the other side, you can fight fair, and keep you self esteem.

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions

For more insights on dealing with your relationship, visit Positive Conflicts and claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationships‘