Christian Marriage Counseling To Keep Your Marriage Strong
Since time began and humans were formed, marriage was to bring two people from a separate state into the beauty of becoming one, totally united. Marriage was intended to be the most beautiful state to be in, and since the Lord created it to be sweet and something to bring joy, the enemy of our souls has worked at maligning it into something that can be ugly and undesirable. Christian marriage counseling is an incredible resource when trouble comes to your garden.
Whenever you sense anything coming in to your relationship to rob you of that love and the commitment you made to each other, then see it as an enemy, and take steps to annihilate it. Even the smallest thought that could be considered division between you two, needs to be identified and abolished immediately or it will fester into proportions that are more difficult to deal with. You will have lost that battle if you do not act. Think of it like a thief coming in to rob you of your treasures and get some reinforcements. Marriage is so important to the Lord, he even calls his people his “bride.” We need to disallow these invasions.
There is a means to solve problems at our disposal, and we should be of the mind that it is important to strengthen our marriage fortress and protect it. See the problem at an early stage and it will prevent failure. If it has gotten to the point where it is already really bad, then it is time to seek counseling from someone who is on your side.
Christian marriage counseling will help us get a perspective on what is important. It is so easy to become distracted and forget the beauty of our first love. Counseling will help bring relationship strengthening techniques for you both to work through together. With a strong teaching from the Bible to show you how to interact as a couple, and how to combat those things that come in to destroy your relationship.
Many problems stem from a lack of communication skills, or neglecting intimacy and closeness. Perhaps there is a lot of anger. Or maybe it is deeper and equally as scarring, such as not understanding how to relate with each other emotionally physically or intellectually. Maybe there is a problem with adultery, deceit, pornography, emotionally crippling wounds and or a mental issue. If you don’t deal with these issues they will inevitably erode your marriage and love for each other.
If you are suffering from any problem big or small, it is wise to seek professional counsel to thwart it at the root. When you are having these issues, it is difficult often for you to feel close to God as well as your mate, which is a terrible state to be in.
As soon as you take a step toward getting some counsel you will feel the weight lift. It is important to admit that we need God to provide intervention, and the truth is, he has the answer and he is just waiting for you to turn to him. It is his delight to take make beauty from ashes. He is able to bring you true joy where there was mourning and heaviness.
When two people agree in prayer as touching anything, Jesus said, “I will do it.” Since marriage is so important to God, it should be important to us. When we begin to turn to the Lord for His counsel and wisdom, through Christian marriage counseling, then hope will come to the situation and if you follow that wisdom, then expect to see a miracle in your marriage.
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Can Pre Marriage Counseling Help Solve Relationship Hurdles?
The counselors for pre marriage counseling are often Christian doctors who take a strong focus on creating and maintaining healthy family structures. This is only possible through communication and understanding. How can you possibly know how your partner handles stress when nothing has come up to really test him or her? How do you know whether you’ll want kids or will want to retire early? Is your partner harboring any emotional damage from previous relationships? By identifying strengths and weaknesses, couples will have a better chance of staying together and preventing a costly and often messy divorce.
The question of when to seek marriage counseling before the big day may be dicey. It’s sort of like a prenuptial, which some people may find offensive or as admonishing the fact that “Hey things may not work out as planned!” As the practice of counseling for couples becomes more widespread, this becomes less an issue, though. To help guide you, the California Association for Marriage Family Therapists came up with several criterion. If you’re young and have never married, then go! If one partner is “commitment-o-phobic,” then go! If there are unresolved issues regarding money, parenting, household responsibilities, work or sex, then go! If one or more partners have had a previously failed marriage, go! If you feel you’d like added conflict resolution skills, go! Lastly, if there has been a history of childhood or domestic abuse, go! Sometimes these seemingly minor obstacles can become full-blown catastrophes later, so it’s important that they’re addressed early and professionally.
Generally when you go for pre marriage counseling, you’ll develop a rapport with the family marriage counselor and you’ll be given the Pre Marital Inventory (PMI) test. This quiz will examine areas such as interests and activities, role expectations, personal adjustment, interpersonal communication, religious philosophy, marriage expectations, family issues, finances, children and parenting, and sexuality. The purpose of this test is not to tell you whether to get married or not, but rather to identify strengths and weaknesses, arming you with the tools you’ll need to make it through your marriage successfully.
Another area that rubs spouses the wrong way is the subject of children. These pitfalls can be uncovered during pre marriage counseling so there are no surprises later. In some cases, couples aren’t planning on kids for at least a few more years. Does one person want them but the other does not? Who will stay home and care for the kids? How will roles and responsibilities be carried out? How can the couple save to plan for this new expense? In other cases, divorcees are entering their second or third marriages trying to reconcile two families together. What is expected of them by their new spouse and their spouse’s children? How can you help your own children grow to appreciate and respect your new love? The balance can be difficult. The best thing to do is visit marriage family counselors and sort it all out beforehand.
