Posts Tagged ‘coping with a break up’

Dealing With A Break Up As Painlessly As Possible

It is quite common to have deep emotions for your lover even you have broken up for a while as you may still carry on the feelings for your lover. When coping with a break up, being willing to let go of your relationship and carry on with life would likely make things easier for you to control. Often, we would find such continuing to lament our loss, allowing oneself to be remaining depressed and becoming mentally unstable, thus adversely affecting our life. There are four possible ways for us to get over a loss:

Dispense All Feelings

Try not to bottle up all your feelings as it may stop you from thinking logically and it may cause you to end up with unwanted actions. You would need to find ways to speak your mind and if there are others to listen to you and share your woe, the burden of the loss can be eased. There are plenty of ways for you to seek help such as writing down every single thought you might have, speaking to your family and friends, or even checking up on a relationship counselor. These things would hold your feelings in clear, precise expressions and can be shared with the rest of the world. By removing the cap and allowing your feelings to surge out, you might find yourself feeling much better and able to think properly again.

Switch Your Attention

Feeling angry and sad are very common as they are emotions made up by your mind which usually make you feel tired or tensed. Control the mind, and you could better control your emotions, and one way is to divert your attention away from the loss of your lover. Picking up a new hobby would stimulate your interest, or engaging yourself in a new job would keep you busy. Try going out with your friends to parties, watching movies or exercising as this will help to fill up the gap in your heart. Food is one of the things that can help to ease your pain. In order to free yourself from the loss of your lover, you should shift your focus to other wonderful things in life.

Knowing New Friends

Meet someone new, learn about different personalities and know what other kinds of people there are in the world. It is normal for you to think that you have lost the one you truly loved after the break up. By meeting other people, perhaps other males or females, you might realize that there might be someone with a better personality out there, or your loved one was possibly unsuitable for you in the first place. This does not mean for you to find a replacement. This allows you pick up your loss and accept the fact that it is not the end, therefore allowing yourself to look into a brighter future with a better lover.

Allow Time to Heal You

The saying “Time heals all wounds” can come into effect here. Giving time to think things through, giving time for feelings to calm down, giving time to decide whether to really end the relationship or salvage it, and most of all, giving time to think of what to say, if at all. The feeling of going through a break up is undesirable, and it may last depending on each individual person. Wanting to get over the loss immediately can be difficult if strong feelings still hold. It may be difficult to resolve the situation if there are a conflict of emotions. On the other hand, if you are given another chance to consider your actions, things might turn out to be better. No point being hurry, as some would say.

It is definitely not the end of life when you have lost someone you loved and it is also not the end of a relationship if a break up occurs. All wounds and hearts can be mended with the love and passion reignited.

The Right Advice After a Break Up

Simply put, most people need advice after a break up. It’s an emotional time, and without good advice from someone who knows what to do (and has probably been there themselves), you may end up doing something rash that you will end up regretting. Also, good advice can help you get through the pain of the breakup faster, as it will enable you to get control of your emotions and put things in better perspective.

If you need good advice after a break up, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve been there and we know what you’re going through. We’ve also helped hundreds of people just like you get over the end of a relationship. Here are the top 3 pieces of advice that will get you on the road to emotional recovery.

1.  Don’t contact your ex for a while. Sure, you may want to, but really, it’s a bad idea. Even if the break up was amicable, you both need some time to clear your minds and look at things objectively again. If your break up was tumultuous, you may just end up fighting with your ex if you contact each other too soon. If you are hoping for any chance at a reconciliation later, fighting is the last thing you want, as it can completely nix any chances of this happening.

2.  Don’t try to get your ex to take you back. A reconciliation MIGHT happen, but not if you force it. Reunions of that nature have to happen naturally, and there are ways to bring that about. But if you keep badgering your ex to take you back, and especially if you beg, then that’s just going to push him farther away.

3.  Don’t try to change yourself for your ex, or convince your ex you’ve changed. You need to be yourself, and your ex must love you for who you are. If there are facets of your personality that you’re genuinely unhappy with, work on those on your own, away from your ex, and not with the intent of using those changes to get back together. The worst thing you can do is to try to change things about you that you like, simply because your ex wants you to. That will drive a wedge between the two of you that will spell doom to any reconciliation attempt you make.

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How to Cope Up With A Terrible Break Up

Coping with a break up can be an extremely difficult and painful process, especially if you did not see the break up coming. When a break up happens, it is natural to shut yourself off from others because you don’t want them to see you grieving or because being around others who are happy makes you even more miserable. However, if you want to make coping with a break up easier on yourself, you must allow others to support you.

Coping With A Break Up - Reaching Out To Loved Ones

Allowing loved ones to support you is key to coping with a break up. Instead of isolating yourself from others, here’s what you need to do:

Turn to your family and friends: It is important that you spend as much time as you can with people who love and understand you. They could be your family members or your friends. However, when choosing who to turn to, make sure you are in the midst of people who are positive and who will help you heal without being judgmental or critical of you.

Make new friends: When a break up happens, a lot of people don’t just lose their loved ones but also get cut off from many of their friends. If the same has happened with you, you should go out and try to build new friendships. You can meet new people by joining the gym, taking up some new classes, volunteering your time for community services etc. In addition to helping you make new friends, such activities will also keep you occupied and take your mind away from your break up.

Seek professional help: If turning to loved ones is not a possibility, you should seek professional help. Speaking with a relationship counselor can help you to understand your feelings and cope with your loss, thus helping you to move on.

Even if all you want is to be alone after your break up, know that your loved ones will make coping with a break up a lot easier. Why go through this painful time on your own when you can have someone help you through it?

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