Posts Tagged ‘dealing with a passive aggressive partner’

How to Deal with a Passive Aggressive Partner

Are you in a situation where you are trying to find an explanation why you are living a miserable life and not the life you dreamed of?

If the answer for this is pointing towards your partner’s behavior, then you need to have a clear view of what you want from your relationship.

In this article, you would begin to think of ways you can defend yourself from passive aggression. To defend yourself from being guilty or angry, you must be aware of the cause of your partner’s behavior.

Dealing with your partner’s passive aggressive behavior is very frustrating. It can lead to many serious problems if you do not do something about it as soon as possible. Tolerating a passive aggressive behavior could create a pettern where you and your partner avoid problems rather that dealing with them.

You can combat this kind of behavior by recognizing it. It will always be YOU who will suffer everything. You should put a STOP to that relationship wrecker behavior!

If your partner complains about anything and everything, does not keep promises, blames you for their own problems and avoids confrontation, then your partner could be a potential wrecker in your loving relationship.

At first glance, your partner may appear quite friendly but at some point, you will be challenged negatively by your partner’s inconsistent behavioral pattern. Your partner can be inconsistent and ambiguous. He often expects you to read his mind and meet his needs. Silence becomes a tool of escape if he proves his inability to live up to his obligations or responsibilities. He puts blame on you when everything falls apart. In the end, you will be the one to face his problems, making you feel frustrated, confused, offended, and depressed.

Now, you will wonder HOW to deal with this behavior.

You must keep in mind that this is NOT your fault. It really has nothing to do with you if your partner cannot deal with his own issues in life. Fixing your partner’s problem is not helping at all. There will be no hope if you are wasting your time by feeling guilty over something that is not really your own problem. You cannot get your needs met and you become a martyr-victim who will suffer emotionally, and that will lead you to your own destruction. Do not make yourself miserable!

You have to make a deal with your partner. Be direct about how you feel by bringing up the problems and explain to your partner how would you like him to respond to this. You must make him understand that if you do not communicate, it will affect you and your relationship as a whole. This way, you would be able to improve the situation and it will help you both grow as a couple. To help you understand eachother deeply, you must be able to talk about your fears openly.

Fair fighting can work in your situation. Try to figure out his patterns and confront him with this destructive tendencies. Do not protect him if he tries to make excuses. Do not accept when he make excuses for himself and constantly remind him of the possible consequences if he allows himself to be eaten by his personal demons. Let him make solid decisions for himself and that he has to stick to it.

If there is an attempt to control you through anger, like sarcasm or irritability, you must make him realize that his anger is a result of his fears. Find out the reasons of his anger. And if he treats you silently, then make him understand that it makes you assume things and that causes further distance between the two of you.

Remember: If a relationship which do not allow straight talk, cooperation and expression, it can become destructive.  When things go off the track, then it is time for you to find help from someone who understands this behavior. If things are not workable, then it is time for you to take a good look at your need to live with conflict. Move on with your life.

To your happiness,

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
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