Healthy Relationships
Recall back on your high school days when you would find that individual of your dreams and just knew you would marry them? The one that had you sluggish at your knees and felt liked butterflies abruptly appeared in your belly? Most of the people today seem to think that these particular feelings are what make healthy relationships. Try to recall what took place when you found the courage to ask this individuals out on a date. For me, she said yes. Right away I knew that I would marry this person. A short time after, the woman of my dreams decided that my best friend was the new man of her dreams and we broke up. This circumstance that happened to me seems to be the routine high school story of so many people. Obviously, this does not outline any healthy relationships. I fell under the “she makes me feel good” type relationship which ended before I had the chance to figure out what her most enjoyable color was. That delivers us to the questions, what are healthy relationships and what do they consist of?
In order to understand what healthy relationships are, we must look to the follow:
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- Great Communication – Communicating daily is very important to the relationship. Don’t neglect the small talk and certainly don’t neglect what is happening in each other’s life. Sometimes, a “dry” spell may be present and communication is somewhat lacking. In this case, like stated in another article, go and be proactive, being proactive brings about communication. It is important that you don’t keep things to yourself. Your partner cares about what is going on in your life and it’s necessary they know about the situations that took place to stress you out. You have to make sure communication is always working, and never lacking. Whether it be good communication or bad communication, you have to have communication.
- Support One Another – You can’t be selfish, you have to be available for your partner. There is a massive responsibility to you both which is to be selfless. You and your partner must be completely supportive of each other. If a situation ever came up and you find yourself in a bind and really need support, guess what? You have your partner who is and should be willing to support you at no matter the cost.
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- Don’t Forget Who You Are – It isn’t very surprising to anyone that we see people conforming left and right. It’s okay that change takes place in people’s lives- it can be a good thing if you don’t lose sight of who you are. Your partner isn’t with you because of who you used to be.
- Healthy Relationships Require Trust – There are two factors that are needed in order to experience a successful relationship. They are trust and commitment. If you have commitment without trust, then you will find yourself in a non successful journey. You have to be able to trust each other.
- Healthy Relationships Require Honesty – The trust factor cannot exist if honesty is nonexistent. Always be honest, no matter how difficult it may be and no matter the situation. Being in a place that would compromise your honesty with your partner should not exist if you respect your partner to begin with.
What do healthy relationships consist of? As noted, you must be able to communicate, be supportive no matter the cost, be yourself, be able trust and be honest. We could throw a few more in the list and say be fair, not selfish, and have a mutual respect. If respect is not a part of the relationship, then a relationship cannot be successfully pursued.
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Categories: Enhancement Tags: healthy relationship, healthy relationships, What are healthy relationships
Relationship Advice For A Long and Happy Partnership
Negotiating as a Couple]
Trust is only one of the things you will need to solve~is important but it is only half the battle when it comes to fixing~is only half of the solution to~can only ever be half of the solution to} getting help with your relationship advice. Equally significant is the ability to negotiate. Research into relationship counseling has shown that this technique achieves the best results. It will obviously be an advantage if you are a good communicator during the negotiation, and the skills involved in good communication and effective negotiation are compatible. Remember to be clear, stick to the point, avoid ending a negotiation on a low point, be flexible, do not assume and never blame. Here are a few more elements to keep in mind whilst negotiating with your partner.
Change negative complaints into positive requests
The most important rule of effective negotiation should be to stay focused on the future of your relationship instead of the past. All complaints are by definition part of the past, and the first thing to do is to change that by converting them into requests for the future. Here is an example, if a woman were to say to her husband ‘I hate that you have been returning home late after work’, this could be reworded as ‘I’d prefer it if you could return home earlier from work.’ I hope that it will be clear to you that the second, positive, future form of words is much more likely to produce a positive response from her partner than the first. All relationship issues can be altered in this way, turning the negative into the positive, rather than arguing or saying ‘You are always complaining.’
Making your needs clear
The next step in improving upon your negotiating skills is learning to make your requests more specific. As an example, if you say to your partner ‘I want you to be more positive to me’, it would be difficult for them to understand exactly what you mean. This would not make it clear where, when or how you would like to be treated differently. You should be clearer and more specific in your request. As an example, if you say ‘I would prefer you to back me up when we are out at dinner with Michael’, this statement is much clearer and more specific, making it easier for you partner to understand your needs.
What you ask of your partner could be a lot more conventional than this. You may simply want your partner to help out more around the house. Again this could be considered to be too general, and it would be better if you were to say ‘I would really like you to help me to clean the carpets.’ The more specific a request, the greater the chances are of it being understood and acted upon. This also makes it easier to be sure whether or not it’s been carried out by your partner when the time come to assess how the new plan is progressing.
Look towards the future
If you are certaining about wanting to know how to save a relationship, you need to look to the future. These examples of turning complaints into requests show how important it can be to make your requests more specific. These requests are worded in a way that is ‘future oriented’. This is a good way to negotiate. One alternative would be to make the comment ‘I wish you could have been more supportive when we were having dinner with Fred last week.’ This is quite specific, however, it is in the form of a complaint, not a request. There is nothing that your partner can do to correct the mistake, as it is already in the past. All that he/she can do is apologize and promise to try to do better the next time.
Also the example regarding helping out with the housework is not constructive if you phrase it like this ‘You never help out with the housework.’ Worded in this way the comment is just like a complaint. If you change it round a little to say it as a call for some support it would probably be taken in a more constructive way. Asking for your better half to address their behavior in the future is much more likely to taken a great deal more earnestly.
