Posts Tagged ‘How to fix a marriage’

How To Repair Your Marriage In 3 Easy Steps

Why do marriages break?

There are many reasons. Ineffective communication, money problems, infidelity, loss of respect, physical separation, emotional distance, and loss of trust are the most common.

Given all these modern stresses, is it really possible to fix your broken marriage?

Definitely! Just follow these 3 steps.

Communicate–The Right Way

All healthy, strong, growing relationships are based on communication–the foundation that keeps relationships secure and safe and solid.

What happens to a building when its foundation collapses? It crumples. And that’s what happens when a relationship’s foundation–communication–collapses.

No relationship can remain healthy without strong communication. Communication builds openness and trust. And they keep a relationship strong and fresh and healthy… so it can handle any stress.

But what exactly IS communication?

It’s not tweeting or FaceBooking or texting or emailing random thoughts to pass the time.

And it’s not phoning or texting because you’re bored. That’s not communication. That’s using people. And that’s just selfish.

When you really communicate, you focus on THEM. You don’t talk. You listen… to everything your partner wants to say. So, if you’re serious about building rock-solid communication with your partner, don’t talk… just listen… and support… and help THEM… and forget all abut YOU.

If you do that… you’ll build real communication that can handle any stress… and fix your broken marriage.

Get Counseling

Good communication is necessary to fix your marriage, but it may not be sufficient. Many times, we get so caught up in the daily grind–and all the frustrations and problems and stresses–we lose sight of the big picture. That’s when we need an experienced, professional, unbiased listener to give us some perspective.

When we’re scrambling to repair a marriage, we focus on the bad stuff… and forget the good things… like why we originally fell in love with our partner. And we inflate every frustration… every little dissatisfaction… until they look like disasters. And then we panic, and believe divorce is our only option.

That happens a lot. When we’re drowning in a swamp with crocodiles all around us, it’s tough to enjoy the sunset. But that’s exactly what we need to do. And that’s why we need a counselor to give us advice and perspective to help us fix our broken marriage.

Move Forward

Next, we must move forward. Don’t obsess about past problems and frustrations and hurt feelings… get on with your life… keep moving.

I know that advice sounds callous and uncaring–and it’s often hard to take–but you’ve just gotta suck it up and do it. Children can’t let go of petty problems. But adults can–and must–be stronger than that.

Keep going… moving… growing… embracing life… adding as much value as possible to your spouse’s life.

If your partner enjoys life more with you than without you… that’s the surest way to fix your broken marriage.

How To Fix A Marriage

Is It Broke? – Then Fix It!

There are several reasons why a marriage falls apart.  Some of those reasons that a marriage may become broken include the couples inability to communicate, emotional abuse, addiction issues, money problems, medical problems, or significant events such as infidelity, that erode trust.

A couple may still want to restore the relationship Regardless that it may be damaged.  In order to arrive at this objective, there are several steps a couple will need to take.  Once these basic steps are taken then the couple can continue to rebuild their marriage and make it stronger. 

An excellent resource to provide assistance can be found here: How To Fix A Marriage: Using Marriage Tools

Specifically, the major reason why a union begins eroding is that a person stops communicating, either speaking or listening.  Therefore, it is key to begin with a commitment to communicate with each other, look for help and then move forward in the relationship, building on these basic steps.  

Are You Hearing Me? 

Communication is the initial basic building block of any marriage.  Interpersonal communication is so much more than simple words.  Sharing with another individual how you are feeling is how communication is described, but letting the other person see into your heart and soul while letting down your defenses.  Another important factor that is part of communicating, and as such, the initial step on how to repair a relationship, is active listening, or hearing what the other person is saying.  Active listening allows the listener to hear what is being said and then repeat back to the individual what the listener believes has been said.  This type of communication is based on trust between two people.  This type of trust provides for a safe environment that facilitates the people to share whatever is on their heart and mind without the fear of rejection, judgment or ridicule, and needs to be maintained as the first step in how to fix a marriage.  Counseling may well be required if the couple is struggling with the communication aspect of restoring the marriage.  If a couple is not quite ready to meet face-to-face with a counselor, or can’t afford a counselor’s services at this time, an excellent resource to provide assistance can be found here: Is It Broke? – Then Fix It!: How To Fix A Marriage

Another component of how to repair a marriage is to find out counseling.  Counseling involves another independent individual who will hear both sides of the story and offer feedback in a non-judgmental way.  Often, these people are professionals with extensive education, training and experience in dealing with the many complex issues that arise in relationships.  This combination will allow the counselor to offer powerful advice to the couple which provides the couple tools on how to rebuild a relationship. 

Hakuna Matata Means No Worries 

Another step in how to restore a marriage is moving on.  This means not dwelling on the disappointments, troubles, loss of trust or pain, that brought them to this place, but to not hold past indiscretions against someone.  This can be extremely difficult depending on what has happened in the past, because memories are not easily forgotten.  However, if the marriage continues to remain in the past it is quite possible that they will not have a future.

Please visit us at How To Fix A Marriage: Using Marriage Tools for reviews and synopsis of the best relationship courses on the market today.