Posts Tagged ‘how to get back my ex’

Three Tips To Get My Ex Back

Having a breakup is not a pleasant experience.  I’m sure most of us have experienced it before.  It leaves you sitting at home all alone with your head in your hands going, “I wish I knew how to get my ex back”.

I’ll be honest with you; it’s a long and sometimes painful process.  Yet, it is not an impossible thing to do.  So buck up, mope and get it out of your system, and let’s start focusing on getting them back.

Step 1 – Acknowledge Total Loss

This is the huge step that some people never take.  You know, the guy at the bar who still dreams about his ex from 10 years ago, or the girl that can never move on from her ex-sweetie.  These folks are still in the denial phase and it can last forever.

First, confess “total” loss.  He or she is gone, and that’s that.  Even though you’re going to win them back, it’s important to first realize and believe it’s completely over.  As soon as you’re there, you’ll be able to effectively start getting them back. I suggest this step to both women and men who want their ex back, check out my advices for guys on how to get back your girl.

It’s an important step since you don’t want to look needy.  If you go to your ex begging, sobbing, pleading, kneeling and making a sorry fool of yourself, it’s not going to work.  This is a huge mistake lots of people make.  You don’t want to be needy or phony.  In other words, don’t start buying flowers or presents and laying it on too thick.  This is another big no-no.

Both pleading and present-buying tell your ex that you have not acknowledged the way things are.  You’re still living in a dream where both of you are together, and it is time to wake up.

Step 2 – Write Your Thoughts In A Letter

I’ve discovered this to be really effecting in getting an ex back.  It’s the “opening move” as I call it.  What it really does is show your ex that you’ve accepted the reality of the situation and that you’re sincere.  It involves writing a letter.

Once you break up, you really want to communicate with your ex.  Anybody that’s been there knows what i mean.  Anything will do just to establish communication.  You text them, e-mail them, call them late at night, “drunk dial” them… and each one of this drives them even further away since it’s not genuine.

Here’s what you do: Handwrite a letter telling your ex that you have accepted that it’s over.  You realize now and you’re okay with it.  That’s basically all you have to to state.  It’s simple and non-threatening.  After you break up with someone, you need space, and this sincere message from you gives them just that.

Step 3 – What Went Wrong?

The next step is to find the reason things went bad.  You’ve got to be completely honest with yourself.  This is a hard thing for most of us to do.  It often means accepting blame, which isn’t easy.  But, there’s got to be several reasons he or she left, and you have to figure it out. This is an important step and you ought to do this not only when you try to get your ex-lover back, but also when you have issue in the relationship, more about this at saving a relationship.

Do you know the main reasons?  They need space, there’s no romance or spark anymore, it’s gotten boring, there is somebody else, and big life changes are the major causes people split up.  The truly tricky part is that the reasons your ex gives might not be the real ones.  They may even be deceiving themselves!

This part might take a while, but you’ll figure it out eventually.  Remember that as long as you don’t know what went wrong, you’ll never be able to start over and maintain healthy long term relationship.

For those of you out there saying, “I don’t know how to get my ex back!” and crying alone at home, get started right now on fixing things up and getting them back.  Start now before it’s too late, and you’ll be on the road to happiness again. For further assistance, check out my Ryan Hall Pull Your Ex review to find out how Ryan can guide you to get your ex to want you back.

How to Save Your Relationship

You have probably encountered this, or know someone who has. One partner spends long hours at work, and the other partner does not feel like he is supportive or available. The other partner spends most of her time looking after the children, sometimes with a job to balance also, and the first partner feels like his needs are not being addressed either.

Can this relationship be saved? Do so, it is well worth it?

Let us assume in this instance that both partners still want the relationship to work. That is not the reality always, and it is a terrible thing when one person wants to continue trying and the other has no interest.

It is frightening how many relationships are maintained just for the children, or for appearances, or for fear of being alone. We all deserve satisfying, complete, and gratifying relationships, and I do not subscribe to the charade theory which keeps many relationships together. After all, if you have decided to stay in a marginal relationship for reasons like the children, some time spent working on the relationship might mean you will end up having the best of both worlds – and a surprisingly great relationship.

The first step is to get both partners to make a solemn commitment to work on the relationship. Making a commitment and then following through is the worst thing to do. The basis for improvement does exist if there is a commitment to trying.

Next, both of you must deeply explore the relationship, and identify the problem or problems that exist. And there must be mutual agreement on these. How can anybody be motivated to work on a problem they don’t acknowledge.

One of the most difficult things to do is to identify the real problems. Many fall into the trap of identifying symptoms - and not the real issues. For example, where one partner has been unfaithful, you might consider that to be the problem. But if you dig a little deeper, you might find that there is an underlying lack of intimacy in the relationship. It is possible that the infidelity is a symptom of a root issue and that a lack of intimacy is what is most important to address.

When the problems have been identified, they must be discussed and agreed upon if possible. This needs to be done in a constructive way. You will want to point out things that will be hurtful for your partner to hear. Same goes for your partner, they will be telling you things which you find hurtful. Do not hold back here - everything must be on the table. Issues get surfaced and discussed sooner when both partners are open. Mind control games, and keeping score, is not the strategy to employ now. It is a time for resolution and cooperation and understanding.

Only when there is agreement on the issues can an action plan be developed to deal with them. This is an on-going process, and there should be frequent progress checks. The tasks should be evenly divided, as seeing that the other person is working hard on the relationship is as important as working hard yourself.

There are no guarantees in life, but by following this approach, there is a good chance your relationship will improve.

The author operates My-Relationship-Fix.com where you can get more Get Ex Back advice.