Posts Tagged ‘love advice’

Getting Your Ex Back By Asking Intelligently

Your ex dumped you and you want them back.  So you’ve called and made a powerful apology about what you did wrong.  Now what do you say to get them to give you another chance? You can learn more about Making Up In Hours here.

The first thing to understand is that each situation is unique.  There is no one rule fits all.  You may be able to get back together in minutes or it may take days. 

Let’s say that you wronged your mate and were too controlling and jealous.  You have apologized powerfully to them and they have at least listened to your apology.  They seem to be open to you again.  Now what?  If you are too pushy they will think you haven’t really changed, won’t they?

So you ask for a second chance.  You say something natural.  “Will you give me a second chance?”  That is simple and normal.  Where the skill comes in is realizing the ball is in their court now.  Let them have the ball and take the time they need to consider your request.

Every ex and every situation is different.  Asking someone to take you back whom you hurt badly enough to make them leave you is a big deal.  Can you understand that?  This is not some small thing.  You have created strong negative feelings in your ex.  This is why they left you.  Asking them to take you back may seem like a small or obvious or necessary thing to you, but put yourself in their shoes.  (Go here for a complete course on How To Get Love Help)

Your ex has to take the time to feel the situation through.  Weigh the pros and cons.  They don’t want to make a mistake and take you back only to start feeling bad again.

The wise thing to do is to let them have control of the reconnect.  Ask them to give you a second chance and feel the situation out.  If they seem unsure and seem to need time to think about it, don’t be pushy.  Ask if you can check in with them tomorrow.  If they seem more willing, you can ask to come talk about it with them now.

Your job is to make a sincere apology and then ask them to take you back.  That’s your part.  Then give them control, feel them out, let them be in charge of when and how to take you back.  You can get a complete system for how to get your ex back here.

Making Up Without Waiting Too Long

A lot of books on how to get your ex back basically say the same thing.  Wait 30 days or more and have no contact.  Then contact them again and see if they want to get together.  The hope is that after 30 days they will have gotten over their upset and lost their anger towards you.  You can get more getting ex back info here.

This advice is based on the idea that time heals all wounds.  That after a month or so they won’t be so mad and may even feel like forgiving you some.

This method of getting back with your ex has some value in some specific situations.  But, for the most part, it can create a lot of problems.  The anger your ex may feel can simmer and fester for all those weeks.  Their heart can harden towards you in that time.  Also, they may start dating someone else.  When there is someone else in the picture, their heart strings start to attach to the new person, making it extremely difficult to get them back.

To avoid these problems you will need a different approach.  Your specific approach will vary based on the reason you split up, but there are some general methods you can use to fix your relationship in hours not months.  Go here for a complete system on Get Relationship Advice.

How might this work if you cheated on your ex and got kicked out last week, as an example?  Your ex is full of anger and betrayal and feels like they can’t trust you ever again. 

To get your ex back fast, realize that feelings do change.  Your ex will get over it eventually, even it it takes a year.

The second thing to understand is that you can help their feelings change.  This is the key to getting your ex back fast instead of waiting weeks.  You can help them to get over their negative feelings towards you.  There are a couple of ways of doing this.  One is with a certain kind of apology (yes, there are different kinds!) and another way is to let them vent or get the feelings off their chest.

When combined, these two methods can help your ex release their hurt feelings.  This makes room for forgiveness, which is the first step to taking your back.  So venting and apologizing in the right way can get your ex back in hours instead of weeks or months.  You can get a complete system for Get Ex Back here.