Posts Tagged ‘resolution’

How to Deal with a Passive Aggressive Partner

Are you in a situation where you are trying to find an explanation why you are living a miserable life and not the life you dreamed of?

If the answer for this is pointing towards your partner’s behavior, then you need to have a clear view of what you want from your relationship.

In this article, you would begin to think of ways you can defend yourself from passive aggression. To defend yourself from being guilty or angry, you must be aware of the cause of your partner’s behavior.

Dealing with your partner’s passive aggressive behavior is very frustrating. It can lead to many serious problems if you do not do something about it as soon as possible. Tolerating a passive aggressive behavior could create a pettern where you and your partner avoid problems rather that dealing with them.

You can combat this kind of behavior by recognizing it. It will always be YOU who will suffer everything. You should put a STOP to that relationship wrecker behavior!

If your partner complains about anything and everything, does not keep promises, blames you for their own problems and avoids confrontation, then your partner could be a potential wrecker in your loving relationship.

At first glance, your partner may appear quite friendly but at some point, you will be challenged negatively by your partner’s inconsistent behavioral pattern. Your partner can be inconsistent and ambiguous. He often expects you to read his mind and meet his needs. Silence becomes a tool of escape if he proves his inability to live up to his obligations or responsibilities. He puts blame on you when everything falls apart. In the end, you will be the one to face his problems, making you feel frustrated, confused, offended, and depressed.

Now, you will wonder HOW to deal with this behavior.

You must keep in mind that this is NOT your fault. It really has nothing to do with you if your partner cannot deal with his own issues in life. Fixing your partner’s problem is not helping at all. There will be no hope if you are wasting your time by feeling guilty over something that is not really your own problem. You cannot get your needs met and you become a martyr-victim who will suffer emotionally, and that will lead you to your own destruction. Do not make yourself miserable!

You have to make a deal with your partner. Be direct about how you feel by bringing up the problems and explain to your partner how would you like him to respond to this. You must make him understand that if you do not communicate, it will affect you and your relationship as a whole. This way, you would be able to improve the situation and it will help you both grow as a couple. To help you understand eachother deeply, you must be able to talk about your fears openly.

Fair fighting can work in your situation. Try to figure out his patterns and confront him with this destructive tendencies. Do not protect him if he tries to make excuses. Do not accept when he make excuses for himself and constantly remind him of the possible consequences if he allows himself to be eaten by his personal demons. Let him make solid decisions for himself and that he has to stick to it.

If there is an attempt to control you through anger, like sarcasm or irritability, you must make him realize that his anger is a result of his fears. Find out the reasons of his anger. And if he treats you silently, then make him understand that it makes you assume things and that causes further distance between the two of you.

Remember: If a relationship which do not allow straight talk, cooperation and expression, it can become destructive.  When things go off the track, then it is time for you to find help from someone who understands this behavior. If things are not workable, then it is time for you to take a good look at your need to live with conflict. Move on with your life.

To your happiness,

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
Claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘

What makes you a good enemy?

Arguing is a part of any relationship. Conflict helps you relationship grow. Even the strongest relationships can go through some tough times. This article is about knowing if you are a fair fighter in your relationship.
You become an enemy in the eyes of your significant Other if there is a fight between the two fo you. What kind of enemy do you think you are?

Are you a good or bad enemy?

Do you escape and avoid arguments in your relationship?
If you are too proud or stubborn to admit things are not working right, that makes you a bad enemy.
A good enemy on the other hand, does not avoid any arguments. A good enemy listens and makes an effort to solve the conflict. If you have strength if character and abundance of patience, you would be able to handle situations and solve problems easily.

There is desperation, loneliness and need for contact behind the idea of arguing, it is a good sign if you are able to detect these hidden contents.

Signs of being a good enemy to your partner:
- You always feel how important it is for your partner to feel good about themselves each day. - Be able to say an apology and break communication barriers - Praising your partner whenever they contributed something that helps your relationship - You acknowledge the problems in your relationship and helping you partner understand why it is important to discuss the problems. You accept your shortcomings and find ways to become a better partner
You get caught in the stresses of daily living and dealing with a difficult partner makes it worse. If you are able to deal with your problems, it shows that you have a skill in fair fighting.

The skills of a good enemy:

• Be able to accept the things that your partner find difficult in your relationship
• Deal with the problems in an calm and self-empowered manner
• Even if your partner can be difficult, you are able to focus the positive energy that enhances the relationship
• Be able to control your emotions, know when to stop and to say enough, and be able to make solid decisions
• Willingness Negotiate a win-win soluton with your partner

You should always work through problems and settle it in a cooperative way. After all, you and your partner thrive in a mutual understanding and positive atmosphere. Your goal must be clear, that fighting is not to make you a bad enemy, but rather the opposite.

Is your relationship beyond repair? 
It may not be as bad as you think…as long as you still care.By applying the ideas we offer in the ebook, you will become a Positive Conflict agent, what I call being a “Good Enemy”!
Want to know more?

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts
PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of ”The Art of Positive Conflicts“