Issues Surrounding Children And Divorce
The number one concern of parents who decide to get divorced is the impact of getting a divorce and their children’s well being. By understanding the fears of children whose parents are getting divorced, knowing what parents can do to help address and alleviate those fears, and doing those things, parents can help their children through what will probably be the roughest time of a child’s life.
The Fears
Children and divorced parents have a lot to be afraid of. Their world has been turned upside down, and their future is suddenly uncertain. Parents can reduce the uncertainty – and the stress and fear – by working out all these details before they even tell the children about the divorce, so they can answer all the child’s questions at one time.
Where Will They Live?
Kids are aware that their parents will be living in different housing from now on. The child is never going to have her mother and father instantly available to her at the same time under one roof where they all live. This knowledge is extremely stressful, especially in cases where the family home has to be sold or where parents live in different cities after the divorce.
Children fearing divorce and change get through this ordeal by ridding their stress associated and uncertainty with the help of their parents.
How Will Their Time Be Divided Between Their Parents?
Children and divorcing parents know all about visitation and split parenting time, because they no doubt have friends whose parents are divorced. Learning from these experiences, the kids will get a grasp of changes or confustion that will arise from deciding who will pick them up at school along with other parental duties.
Even when the divorced family gets along extremely well, visitation is the most stressful aspect of children of divorce. After all, who among us would take a job that required us to split our time, 50/50, between two different locations? Not many. Having two homes in two different places, and having to shuttle all our stuff back and forth between the two of them, would be too stressful for many adults to undertake. Yet divorcing parents expect children to adapt and adjust.
Many divorced parents have adopted the practice of leaving the children in the family home and having the parents be the ones who move in and out of the picture. Not everyone will agree with the arrangements, but it could be the best way for both parties to deal with the issue of divorce and children.
Categories: General Tags: child divorce, children of divorce, Divorce, divorce children, family divorce, getting a divorce, separation and divorce
Infidelity Causes More Damage Than Ending A Marriage
If there is one guaranteed way to have a bitter divorce it is because of infidelity. When one spouse cheats on the other, it can cause great emotional pain and damage. The reasons for cheating can be many. It might be that work is keeping one partner away from home and the spouse simply feels lonely. No matter what the reason for cheating is, it can quickly turn things bitter and ugly. The betrayal of marriage vows damages both parties and hurts everyone involved. When cheating does occur, the union most likely will fall into the hands of divorce attorneys.
Infidelity in a marriage can be physical or it can be emotional. Many people would think that simply being emotionally involved with another person other than their spouse is not such a big thing. After all, it is not like there is physical or sexual contact involved. Right? But the reality is that it does hurt just as much and can destroy a marriage just as fast. It is a difficult thing to deal with. Cheating in any way is a good way to wind up with a separation and divorce.
Divorce court is not a great place to have to air dirty laundry about infidelities. Most judges do not look favorably on a cheating spouse. In some states it is grounds enough to be granted alimony. There are very few cases of uncontested divorces where a partner has been cheating. Most are very bitter affairs that often require the services of a divorce mediation professional in order to come to a peaceful agreement.
If your partner has cheated on you but you are not quite ready to call it quits, then you can still find marriage help. It will take a lot of work to get the marriage back on track but it can happen. It requires counseling to uncover the reasons why one spouse strayed from the marriage bed. There will be a lot of hurt feelings that have to be overcome and it is entirely possible that you can never let the incident(s) go and that divorce will happen regardless of your efforts to save the marriage.
Infidelity is a devastating thing when it happens. You always wonder if it was something you did to drive your partner into the arms of a lover. There is always that doubt about whether or not your husband or wife ever truly loved you. If they did, then why did they betray you? The divorce laws may be on your side if and when you decide that you cannot live with a cheating partner but it does not make the emotional wounds any easier to deal with.
