Is Your Spouse Divorcing You?
It’s never too late to save your marriage, which is why its imperative that you have the right tools and techniques. If you are serious about saving your marriage, theres no better time than now:
There are numerous reasons why a once committed relationship would degenerate to one partner asking for a divorce. It could have been:
* an affair
* having been separated by a long distance for lengths of time
* conflict
* behavioral issues or psychological problems of one spouse
* even unmanaged addictions.
Regardless of the problems seen and experienced on the surface, the bottom line is that usually, barring any abuse or psychological problems that are best handled by a professional, a couple can find themselves in danger of divorce when there is a loss of:
* communication,
* love
* and intimacy
in the marital relationship.
Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable.
Stop Your Spouse From Divorcing You Now!? - Click Here To Learn How
However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage?
If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?
You must realize first that, YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter.
How can we change the situation when it involves another person’s feelings or decisions?
While we cannot, MUST NOT and IN NO WAY manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself.
While you may feel your partners actions are the issue here, your reactions to those actions are actually more important.
You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you.
Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.
Here’s the thing. You can choose to wallow in pain and anger or you can choose to become even more positive and loving towards your spouse. You can choose to blame and shame your partner or you can choose to take stock, be accountable for where your marriage is and move on towards a more fulfilling, happy you.
Yes, you heard right. YOU can CHOOSE to be fulfilled and happy in the midst of crisis.
Even if your spouse is stubborn and unresponsive, you can still change yourself and become as engaging, positive and proactive as you were when you first fell in love.
Usually, at the struggling stage of a relationship, one or both couples would look back and miss the good old days where it was easy to be together. You can capture those days again - and even add to them with your own current maturity and growth.
After all, you did not spend all those years together to throw what you have away so easily.
You and your spouse have made a huge investment into this partnership and your intention to stay in the marriage through positive loving actions, through open communication and strengthened commitment, can help your spouse refocus their view on
what you once committed to.
Become a loving person again by caring for your spouse in the little everyday things. Be there for him or her when before you may have been too much of a workaholic.
This marriage crisis may be the one thing that raises your awareness of the many gifts your relationship has offered you. Sometimes we don’t appreciate things that come to us too easily, or don’t appreciate them until they are gone.
By raising your awareness of your marriage crisis, and empowering yourself to stay positive regardless of the many influences threatening to drag you down, fate has offered you the chance to change your perspective.
Let go of the negative. Let go of the fighting. Once you are able to do that, you are ready to start loving.
Set aside intimate time just for your partner alone whereas previously, you may have let the kids take up too much of your time.
Then, when the time comes that you are able to open communication with your spouse and actually sit down and discuss the crisis you’re in -ask him or her if he or she realizes just how much effort a divorce could entail?
Does your spouse actually realize that a divorce has emotional, financial, logistical and physical consequences, often stretching out years beyond a divorce?
Stop Your Spouse From Divorcing You Now!? - Click Here To Learn How
A divorce brings CHANGE and it is definitely not to be taken lightly. If your spouse wants a divorce, is he or she prepared to embrace this change?
Finally, you also have the option to involve a third party or mediator to help you and your spouse through this situation. If the situation is truly serious then by all means, get help.
This is not the time to let your pride get in the way. A professional counselor, trusted elder or neutral friend can help in putting things into perspective between you and your partner and may even help unlock deep seated concerns or issues.
For all you know, it may be as simple as your partner wanting more attention or more ways to open up to you.
For more tips on helping yourself get the best of of your marriage resolution, check out the time-tested tips at save my marriage Today.
This article is provided by blogger Paul Thomason
Categories: Conflict Tags: Divorce, get your spouse back, spouse, stop divorce
How To Communicate Effectively With Your Spouse and Children
How to Communicate with Children
Communication problems lie at the root of most relationship issues. There comes a point in a relationship when it simply run out of topics to talk about. This is particularly true with teenage children. Most parents simply cannot understand how to talk to their teenagers. It is also not uncommon to see a normal conversation quickly descending into a scolding session or a pep talk. So here are a few tips that will help you to have a meaningful conversation with the most important people in your life.
Children:
If you thought that talking to your toddler is a problem wait till he/she grows up to be a teenager that’s when the real trouble starts. It is certainly no joke dealing with adolescents one moment they are on top on the world and the very next they become the biggest losers. Its time to experiment with makeup and other disastrous things like alcohol, drugs etc and of course there is an extreme amount of curiosity about sex So how do you tackle a teenager?. One trick that really works in to be forthright with your kids about these issues so that they can feel comfortable discussing them with you. Be ready to acknowledge your child’s feelings. A child learns to handle his feelings from his parents so make sure that you set a good example. Getting your teenager to talk to you is a difficult task so if your teenager wants to talk to you, be an active listener. Encourage your child to talk to you, instead of grilling your child about his or her day in school and turning it into an interrogation, give your teen time and space. Try not to argue or let your temper flare if you think there is a problem state it calmly and talk about how it can be sorted out.
Spouse:
It is not unusual for petty communication issues to eventually lead to estrangement and even a divorce if not tackled in time. It is not uncommon to see a wife trying to communicate with her husband while he is engrossed in a TV program unfortunately when the wife complaints the husband grumbles about the attention that his wife demands out of him . For a healthy marriage it is important that both spouses keep some time for themselves. Many times we see that by the time we have tackled all our responsibilities like children, job and household chores there is very little time left to spend with our spouse.. It is good to be honest but try not to be judgmental. It is perfectly normal and even healthy for a couple to have arguments but what is important is to not let things get out of hands and to not start talking ill about each others family members or make a joke out of your spouse’s personal problems. Listening and trying to understand what your spouse is trying to tell you will certainly help to keep marital problems at bay. If you dont understand something or if you feel that miscommunication has crept in while talking to your spouse stop and ask your spouse to clarify instead of forming your own conclusions which are bound to cause problem. Also remember to always maintain eye contact when talking to your spouse.
If there has been a communication failure it is as much your fault as your spouses because it takes two to tango. Remember to visit our website world of warcraft gold for all of your in-game currency needs.
Categories: General Tags: children, communicate, effect communication, spouse
