Posts Tagged ‘Stop your divorce’

Crisis has an important role in Saving Your Marriage

You know that your marriage is in complete crisis, things are getting worse every day, where do I even start the proccess of saving my marriage?

It maybe that you are both surviving an affair and trying to make some sense of the chaos,and wondering how on earth things have deteriorated to this point.

Well here’s some good news, if you are desperately working on saving your marriage, or trying to stop your divorce before it becomes final, there is still hope for you both, and there have been many people who are where you are now, and who have gone on to not only patch things up, but come out of the situation with a stronger relationship, and a rediscovered closeness and intimacy.

So even though you are both feeling hurt angry and confused at the moment, this might actually be a positive thing! Sounds unbelievable I know, but its true. This is one of the most important bits of advice on relationships I can offer you.

How about looking at things in a very different way. Imagine a company that is losing money every day and heading rapidly for bankrupcy. What you have to understand here is that the situation had to become a crisis, before the business owner realised that he had to act, and by doing so he built a better stronger business from the ruins of the old one. If the crisis hadnt happened chances are nothing would have changed, and business wouldnt have been rebuilt and improved. So the crisis was a GOOD THING! Do you see how this situation compares with that of your marriage?

At this point in time, I understand that your situation feels awful, but it is actually good that you have arrived at this point, because it offers you the chance to work with each other to change all the things in your marriage that dont work, and build a fantastic loving and supportive new relationship. What an incredible opportunity this is WOW!

If your marriage is in crisis, take action now before it is too late, visit my site where I will share with you A SIMPLE SEVEN STEP RECONCILIATION PROCESS that gets fantastic results CLICK HERE.

Saving your Marriage, Read here in case of Relationship Emergency

You smell the smoke, hear the crackle of a flame and
begin to faint from the searing heat.

and…

You suspect there’s about to be a raging fire.

But the fire and carnage you fear won’t be from
any material possessions lost, but from something much
more precious, a once loving relationship going up in flames.

No matter what problem set your fire blazing, many
of us don’t know where or how to begin applying
the water to put the fire out.

In fact…

Unlike a real fire where a fireman first looks to
find, attack and cool the source of the fire (if possible).

Often attacking the source of the heat isnt the right way to approach things
when trying to extinguish our relationship problems and fires.

Imagine that since this economic downturn
your relationship has flared up some worrying financial blazes.

Not too hard to imagine these days?

These may start as little brush fires, small issues and arguments
over how and where money is being spent…or not spent.

Then, maybe because of the heat and pressure of these
financial fires one partner starts ‘escaping’ more than
is healthy for the relationship.

He escapes into TV, Video Games, Alcohol, Cyber
Porn…or worse?

Now…what do we have?

We’ve got two fires smoldering away and soon to be a third because
the other member of the relationship is beginning to feel isolated and lonely.

Can you almost feel the pressure?

Feel it coming to a boil?

Now with three fires off to a crackling start there’s
even greater risk of fire and damage spreading to other areas.

So? Just which fire do we put out first?

Our financial fire? Our financial blaze feels pretty tough to
extinguish right now and not likely to die soon.

So maybe we should start with the escapism? That seems
like an easy blaze to put out…IF you’re not the one escaping!

…and try telling someone that’s feeling lonely and isolated
that “they should just snap out of it” is like throwing fuel
into the fire.

So where do we begin when we don’t see any
excellent place to begin? And we finally realize that
trying to stomp out all our blazes at once actually spreads
the fire?…FASTER!

The answer is…

Unlike fighting a REAL fire, we start where there
IS NO BLAZE.

Yes, start where there is no fire, smoke or heat
and no flame.

What we need to do here is to stop concentrating on the problem(s)
and put our concentration on where some passion still exists…even if
it’s just a little.

Find even the tiniest things you both enjoy doing
together, ACTIVELY put your problems aside and begin to
reawaken the passion between you.

And do you know what invariably happens? Often once you’ve
reignited the passion between you…the PROBLEMS will often work
themselves out.

The fires extinguish themselves.

Here’s how it may play out using our example;

Tom and Cindy both love cooking together.

They both actively decide to let their problems
go and NOT worry about them for awhile, but to start
by cooking meals together and sitting down to eat together
the dinner table…EVERY night.

Often because they’ve had such a great time cooking
and eating meals together…they place poker or another game
afterwards and share some laughs and have a little fun.

Now, Cindy isnt feeling so lonely anymore
Tom’s always watching TV or surfing the web…

That little bit of fun turns into love making a little
more often.

Which in part…leads to…

Tom starts to feel better about himself and a new self confidence starts growing
and as his confidence builds… Tom gets more assertive
about finding work.

Soon…

Tom lands what maybe not the best job in the world, but one
that relaxes a lot of the money stress until he
can find the perfect fit for him.

And before your very eyes…

Where Tom and Cindy’s relationship was about to burst
into flames…

Now, they are rising from the rubble with
a stronger and more fire proof marriage than ever before.

The moral of the story is that with enough PASSION
couples can overcome most any problem including surviving an affair, drug use,
even death in the family.

But when there is very little passion even the tiniest
problems…become big, out of control, blazing fires.

Now if you’re reading this, but feel that an out
of control fire has already ‘gutted’ and put an end to your
relationship. You may find it comforting to know that there
may be a fresh start for you? Saving my marriage may be a real possibility?

If you are in Tom and Cindys situation working on saving your marriage or trying to stop your divorce [or simply need some solid advice on relationships]visit my site for a POWERFUL AND EASY SEVEN STEP RENCONCILLIATION PROCESS.

CLICK HERE to check it out.

How to Survive an Affair and start saving Your Marriage

Sadly many marriages and relationships end because of an affair, and you know what? Things dont have to work out this way. In my practice the majority of couples who come to me in this situation where one or other party [or very rarely both] have had an affair actually succeed in surviving an affair rebuilding their relationship and have gone on with their lives stronger, happier and more connected than they were before.

If you are one of these people struggling to stop your divorce or desperately working on saving your marriage, there is an above average hope of success if you follow some simple guidelines. I believe that this can be the single most important piece of advice on relationships I can offer to couples. Here are 5 simple steps that can help you both to get through this situation.

1/ Choose not to look at what has happened as a BAD THING. I cant believe that I hear you say to yourself. The reason is this and its called feedback. Whenever something in your life goes badly wrong, you are getting negative feedback, and what this is doing is giving you the chance to put things back on track and this is actually a GOOD THING!

2/ Avoid getting involved in blaming your partner for what has happened. Whilst it is true that one or both members of the relationship have damaged the others trust, if you only focus on blame and anger, you will never be able to move forward.

3/ Another important thing is not too blame yourself for the your partners affair. They took the action not you.

4/ The basic reason why any person has an affair is having needs met that are not being met in their marriage or relationship. These needs may be emotional physical spiritual or mental. By talking honestly and openly about these needs without anger or blame both people can gain a new and powerful awareness of each other’s relationship needs .

5/ Take responsibility for your own feelings and actions “I had an affair because you never want physicality any more” is putting the responsibility on the other person. “I chose to have an affair because I felt unloved and undesired sexually” is being responsible for your own actions. By using the “I” word couples can talk about their relationship situation without the other person feeling attacked and consequently feeling they have to respond defensively.

If you want to make a powerful start today on saving your marriage or relationship before it becomes too late visit my site http://www.squidoo.com/marriage-relationship-help-advice   where I share with you an extremely powerful and SIMPLE 7 STEP RECONCILLIATION PROCCESS which has had fantastic results for my clients.

If You Stop Playing the Blame Game, You can Start Saving Your Marriage

If you are serious about saving your marriage or relationship or are working together to stop your divorce, then a very important first step is to stop playing the blame game. Of all the advice on relationships I offer to my clients, especially those surviving an affair, this is the most important single thing.

What is the blame game? Simple, blaming your husband, wife or partner for everything that is wrong in your marriage. Until you take this simple step and start taking responsibility for how YOU feel, rather than pointing the finger at your other half, things are unlikely to change for the better.

If you play the blame game, all you are doing is creating further anger and conflict in your marriage rather than allowing any real communication or problem solving.

Here is an example of what I mean. ” Your always out with your friends and not with me” is an accusation and an attack, and your partner will in all probability respond in a defensive manner. What do you do when someone points a finger in your face? Your automatic response is to push it away! However if you were to say “ I am feeling very lonely” that is quite a different way of saying the same thing isn’t it?

The huge difference here is that rather than laying the blame, you are taking responsibiliy, and this makes a massive difference in the response you will recieve. As your partner does not feel that you are attacking or accusing them, they will listen to what you have to say rather than defend themselves.

This use of the “I” STATEMENT, rather than “you” is often the most important factor in restarting communication and dealing with marital/relationship problems. It enables couples to clearly outline their problems in a way that will get them heard by the other person.

Try using this powerful tool to outline your relationship needs rather than playing the blame game, and guarantee that you will be amazed at the results. Saving my marriage using this technique becomes a whole lot easier.

If you want to make a powerful start today on saving your marriage or relationship before it becomes too late visit my site CLICK HERE where I share with you an extremely powerful and SIMPLE 7 STEP RECONCILLIATION PROCCESS which has had fantastic results for my clients.

Crisis is Positive, You Can Stop Your Divorce

So your marriage or relationship is in serious trouble, getting worse every day, how do I go about saving my marriage I hear you ask?

It may be that you are both surviving an affair, trying to make sense out of the chaos of your lives, and wondering where can I even start to make things better.

Well here’s some good news, if you are desperately working on saving your marriage, or trying to stop your divorce before it becomes final, there is still hope for you both, and there have been many people who are where you are now, and who have gone on to not only patch things up, but come out of the situation with a stronger relationship, and a rediscovered closeness and intimacy.

So despite the way you are both feeling at the moment, this situation may actually be a good thing! Sounds unbelievable I know, but its true. This is one of the most important bits of advice on relationships I can offer you.

Here is a completely different perspective on things. Imagine a business in crisis, losing money and heading for total bankrupcy. Things actually had to become critical before the owner realised that he had to do something drastic to save his business, but by taking the right action, he rebuilt his business so it was even stronger than before. If it was not for the crisis, the business would not have been rebuilt, and bankrupcy would soon have followed. So the crisis was a GOOD THING! Can you see the similarity between this situation and your marriage?

Right now I know that the situation you are in feels terrible, but believe it or not it is actually good, because it offers both of you the opportunity to to work together, changing all the things that dont work in your marriage, and rebuilding a powerful supportive loving and lasting relationship from the ruins and going on to have a fantastic life together. This is an incredible opportunity WOW!

If your marriage is in crisis, take action now before it is too late, visit my site where I will share with you A SIMPLE SEVEN STEP RECONCILIATION PROCESS that gets fantastic results CLICK HERE.

Stop Blaming Your Partner and Start Saving Your Marriage

If you have a genuine commitment to saving your marriage, or are determined to stop your divorce, then make your first step stopping playing the blame game. Of all the advice on relationships I offer to my clients, this is without doubt the single most important piece.

What do I mean by the blame game? Easy, putting the blame for everything that is wrong in your marriage or relationship at the feet of your partner. Until you take this simple step and start taking responsibility for how YOU feel, rather than pointing the finger at your other half, things are unlikely to change for the better.

All you are acheiving by blaming your partner for your problems, is creating more conflict and anger, rather than allowing communication and resolution of your issues.

This is an example of what I am talking about. “You never spend time with me any more” is effectively an accusation and an attack, to which the other partner will seek to defend themselves. The natural response if someone sticks a finger in your face is to get annoyed or angry! What if you were to say ” I am feeling lonely and isolated” isnt this sayiing the same thing but in a very different way?

By taking responsibility rather than blaming your partner, you are much more likely to get a positive response. Because your partner is not feeling attacked and accused they will actually listen to what you are saying and not feel the need to respond defensively.

This use of the “I” STATEMENT can be an absolutely critical factor in reopening meaningful communication in any relationship that is in trouble. It enables couples to clearly outline their problems in a way that will get them heard by the other person.

Try using this powerful tool to outline your relationship needs rather than playing the blame game, and guarantee that you will be amazed at the results. Saving my marriage using this technique becomes a whole lot easier.

If you want to make a powerful start today on saving your marriage or relationship before it becomes too late visit my site http://www.squidoo.com/marriage-relationship-help-advice  where I share with you an extremely powerful and SIMPLE 7 STEP RECONCILLIATION PROCCESS which has had fantastic results for my clients.

Are you Really Trying Hard enough Saving your Marriage?

A common warning sign that a marriage or relationship is in trouble is a growing disconnection from each other. This sense of disconnection from their partner is very common, and often one of the first things couples mention when they come and see me. The amount of quality time that couples spend together, tends to diminish as time goes on due to kids, work commitments and general life getting in the way. If at this point both partners have sufficient awareness to realise that they do have a problem, saving your marriage is very achievable.

Sadly however this lack of connection can result in one or other partner seeking solace with another person, in the belief that this person can help them to reconnect with what they feel is missing in their life. Usually this affair tends to be short lived and a lot of couples decide to split up at this point rather than working on surviving an affair together and reconnecting with each other, and finding the love and intimacy they both crave again.

When either or both partners in a marriage are not getting their emotional and physical needs met, the focus of the relationship tends to shift and become one of blame anger and negativity. Both partners begin looking for faults in their other half, and blaming their partner for their own feelings of being unloved, unappreciated and emotionally unhappy.

A good starting point I recommend for my clients [I am a marriage/relationship counsellor], is for both people to sit down together and discuss what is wrong using the “I” word. The “I” word is a very useful tool in opening communication as it makes the person take ownership of the problem rather than blaming the other person. Here is a simple example. “I don’t feel loved” as opposed to ” You dont show me that you love me”. Taking the element of blame out of the situation can both defuse the anger that you are feeling toward your partner and open the door to understanding what your partner is experiencing [which is often in a lot of cases a mirror image of your own feelings]

This energy switch away from the negativity of criticism and blame and towards a positive awareness and understanding of your partner’s issues can be the crucial factor in starting couples on the road to reconciliation and rediscovery of the love, intimacy and connection that they once shared.

If you need help to saving your marriage or relationship or to stop your divorce from becoming a reality, take action now, visit my site today CLICK HERE where I will share with you a hugely powerful and very simple 7 STEP RECONCILLIATION PROCCESS which has been extremely successful for my clients.

Is It Too Late To Get My Ex Back?

Is your relationship on the brink of falling apart? Can you seem ominous signs that your relationship is ending, or has she or he already called it quits? Do you want to learn how to patch things up in the midst of a break up or divorce, or even after the divorce is final? There are some basic tricks that you can try when it comes to learning how to win love back. If you follow these early steps carefully, you may be successful in rekindling the the passion with your ex or soon-may-be-ex.

Sometimes we are myopic and do not really value a relationship that we were in until it has ended. If you are convinced that the relationship was right for both of you and should not have ended, the breakup may not have to be forever. You and your ex have to be realistic about your lost love, and if it really wasn’t the right thing for both of you then it is best to learn to live without your ex. But, in the right circumstances, there is always the possibility that you can make things work again.

If you can see that your relationship is headed in the wrong direction, but you honestly think it is worth saving, then learning to win love back is possible. Formulate a written plan including a list of “next steps” that you will follow in trying to reverse a breakup. Here are some good suggestions for you to follow when it comes to rekindling a relationship and learning how to win love back.

• First, understand why the break up happened or you will never be able to undo the damage. You can’t just say you have changed unless you really have. If you don’t understand what you did wrong the first time around, you will make the same mistakes all over again. Learning how to win love back means learning not to repeat the same mistakes again.
• Prove that you are serious about getting your ex back by your actions, not just with excessive words and pleading. Actions speak louder than words when you are trying to save a rocky relationship.
• Be more attentive to your loved one. Listen to his or her issues, problems and worries. Put your personal needs second and be there to support him or her when she needs you. If your ex or maybe-will-be-ex sees you are really attentive to his or her needs, they may take you seriously in trying to rekindle things.

These simple steps will get you started in the process of repairing your broken relationship. If you really care about recovering your relationship, then the steps above are a bare minimum to get you started. It is also a good idea to enlist the aid of a relationship expert in rebuilding your marriage or partnership. The Magic of Making Up system is an excellent ally to have in your love rebuilding quest. Just click the following link to get started learning how to stop your divorce.

Reasons for Divorce

It seems there are as many reasons for divorce as there are people out there getting divorces. When you have a better understanding of the reasons for divorce, you can help prevent your own marriage from going in that direction. Maybe your relationship is already facing problems and you don’t know the reasons behind them.

Or maybe you do know why but you don’t know what to do to resolve it. Whatever your personal case is, knowing the reasons for divorce can help you. When you see why people are getting divorced, you can compare this to your own relationship and try to see the problem. Finding out what is causing the problem is the first step in solving it before it’s too late.

Some reasons for divorce are:

· Infidelity/ cheating

· Grow apart/ no longer love one another

· Financial problems

· Alcohol or drug abuse

· Addictions

Sometimes people who have divorced or are facing divorce will blame one large problem for the breakup and the failure of the marriage. Maybe it was an affair or physical abuse. But all too often, there is no large problem with which to blame. Many times, people simply drift apart or they stop trying and that causes their marriage to fail.

Poor communication and a failure to commit is the culprit here and it happens again and again to marriages all over the world. Even the smallest thing can add up over time and destroy a marriage. You don’t have to let divorce happen to you and your marriage causing you to be a part of the statistics.

When you understand the reasons for divorce, it can also help you understand the reason for yours. Do you know why your marriage is having trouble? Do you know why your spouse wants to separate? What problems are you facing that you continuously fight over?

You can understand the reasons why many people get a divorce and help point your marriage in the right direction with the answers to these questions. A marriage won’t fix itself just because you will it to. Setting the stage for reconciliation will require that you take action on your part.

You can’t expect the other party to give in and take you back just because you’re asking them to but there are some things you can do to repair damage you may have caused and help bring the two of you back together. Your first step is to be completely honest with your partner.

All you need to do is let them know that you want them back. Never attempt to trick your partner or play “mind games” with them in order to get them back. Trying to win over your partner by making promises you can’t keep is a bad idea and you should never tell them something simply because it’s what you think they want you to say. If it even works, later it will backfire and you’ll end up with more problems in your marriage than you started with.

Being honest shows that you’re serious about making amends and that you trust your partner. It doesn’t matter why you’re headed for divorce, you can still make things work out when you take measures to find a solution.

4 Steps You Need To Take Stop Your Divorce And Save Your Marriage

The best thing to know is that it is not too late to stop your divorce and save your marriage. The break up of marriage is an example of the worst things that will happen to a person, and it’s all too common. Over fifty percent of all unions today will end in divorce. When you consider that divorce is often regarded as one of the most stressful events that will occur in an individual’s life, even beyond the passing of a loved one, this is a lot of heart ache out there in the world.

The tragedy is that many of these breakups could have been stopped. You do not have to be a statistic. You can do something about it ; you can stop your divorce. I won’t say that it will be straightforward, but it is possible. You have to follow the steps to rebuild what has been broken.

You can’t expect to stop your divorce without a plan anymore than you should expect to build a house without blueprints. Luckily , the help readily available, and it behooves you to milk it. Your marriage does not nee to fail. You can do something.

Step 1: Find the Problem

You can’t stop your divorce if you don’t know why your wedding is falling apart. You must work with your other half to diagnose what’s wrong with the marriage. This is a little harder than it sounds, because what you suspect could be the cause of the divorce is just a symptom.

Step Two: Fix the Problem

In some ways, this is the most vital step. If you can’t fix the issue, then you can’t stop your divorce. Some issues can’t be fixed, but most can. The reason most relationships ending problems don’t get solved is  they are never identified. But you’ve already done that in step one. What you want to do now is work with your spouse to make the compromises that may save your marriage.

Step 3 : Remember the Good Times

You’re going to want to remind both your other half and yourself why you both came thogether to begin with. Irrespective of how bad your wedding has gotten, there was a point when things were good. You should try to attempt to get back to that place, but you should usually remember that it existed.

Step Four: Start Over

The last need to stop your divorce is to start again. You want to look at your relationship as a new wedding. Whilst you should keep in mind the good times, you want to forget the bad times and find out about your other half all over again. Things have changed, and you want to  make your marriage work with the person you are married to, not the person you used to get married to or the person you wish they were. Accept them as they are, and work in partnership to build a better, stronger marriage.

If you follow these four steps, you’ll be able to stop your divorce and save your marriage. If you need more help, then don’t be afraid to look for it. There are systems out there to help fix what is broken in your relationship, and you need to be prepared to use them.